“Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends IF…” (John 15:13-14).

We live in an age of staggering technological advancements. New developments in computer graphics, virtual reality, artificial intelligence, rocket science, electric vehicles, and even self-driving cars make it seem like we’re all living right out of the pages of a 20th Century science fiction novel.

What was yesterday’s science fiction is today’s science fact.

And among all these incredible advancements in technology over the past generation, one that has simultaneously brought us closer together while also, ironically, pulled us further apart is SOCIAL MEDIA.

Social media has proven to be a double-edged sword.

It’s both a tremendous blessing and a horrendous curse.

It’s such an amazing blessing to be able to communicate face-to-face with our children and grandchildren at the simple press of a button. We can participate in live events happening literally on the other side of the planet. We can learn new skills, seek out knowledge, attend virtual classes, and deepen our understanding of the world and the cosmos. We can even gather together online with fellow believers from all over the world to immerse ourselves in the liberating truth of God’s Word.

But this same technology has also empowered the servants of Satan to spread their master’s evil designs further and faster than ever before.

Sensual and even blatant pornographic imagery is daily thrust into our faces. We’re constantly being bombarded with the lies and misinformation pushed by the bought-and-paid-for talking heads of mainstream media. The deeply disturbed, psychopathic types have been given liberty to verbally bully, harass, and spew the most profane language imaginable, all the while remaining completely anonymous and free of consequence. And civilization-ending ideologies — ideas that were once isolated to small geographic areas — have been given a virtual megaphone, enabling the propagation of a liberal, hedonistic, self-worshiping, godless mind virus to all the world.

Again, social media has proven to be both a tremendous blessing and a horrendous curse. It all depends on how this powerful tool is used that makes it either good or bad.

And certainly, one additional bad aspect of social media is how it has made our interactions with one another so very shallow.

It’s actually hard to believe, but it’s been a full 20 years since the creation of the social media platform Facebook (launched on February 4, 2004). That’s a full generation of time! And during all that time, Facebook has enabled us to connect with thousands of other people from all over the world — making connections called “Friends.”

You send out a “Friend Request” to a particular individual.

The person either accepts or rejects the request.

If accepted, you are now “friends.”

Simple, right?

However, as I’ve recently been pondering both the benefits and hazards of social media, I had to ask myself the question: “What does it mean to be someone’s friend?”

Definitions of the word “friend” as found in multiple dictionaries are as follows:

“A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts” (American Heritage). “A person whom one knows well and is fond of; intimate associate; close acquaintance” (Webster’s). “A person with whom one has developed a close relationship of mutual trust and intimacy” (Oxford). “A person on the same side in a struggle; one who is not an enemy or foe; ally” (Webster’s).

Ask yourself: How many of the individuals in your Facebook “Friends List” fit with these definitions? Just how many of these people do you personally know? How many of them do you trust? How many of them are aligned with your same interests, values, goals, faith, struggles, and righteous desires?

These are questions we all need to ask ourselves.

Words do matter, and certainly one of the detrimental effects of social media is that the term “friend” has become shallow and practically meaningless.

A friend of mine (yes, an actual human being I personally know, trust, and associate with in the real world) recently asked me if he was in the right to make a post on his Facebook page telling his online “friends” that if any of them support the evils of abortion, homosexuality, transgenderism, atheism, or liberalism to please unfriend him.

He was kind about it. He simply drew a metaphorical line in the sand and said, “If you stand on that side of the line, I’d rather not associate with you.”

And you wouldn’t believe the hornet’s nest that was struck with such a simple post and request!

Many (including myself) believed he was entirely in the right to make such a post, while others adamantly insisted that what he’d done isn’t what a follower of Christ would do.

But instead of throwing around our personal opinions of what we think a follower of Christ should do, let’s dive into the Holy Bible to see how God’s Word defines what a friend is and those we are called to associate with.

Jesus said to his 11 faithful disciples (please note how Judas Iscariot was not present at this time, as he had already left the company to betray Christ): “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends IF you do what I command you. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you” (John 15:13-15).

Notice how Jesus calls his 11 disciples his friends — but that friendship is not unconditional. An important condition is applied in order for them to be found worthy of that high and honorable title.

“YOU ARE MY FRIENDS IF YOU DO WHAT I COMMAND YOU” (John 15:14).

Only those who are obedient to the commandments of God have the honor of being called a “friend.”

Once again, take note of how Judas Iscariot was not present when Jesus said these words. Judas — he who betrayed the Master — was not found as a “friend” but rather as one “doomed to destruction” (John 17:12).

We see this same truth taught in the Epistle of James where he recounts the faithfulness of Father Abraham in obeying God’s commandment to offer up Isaac.

“You see that [Abraham’s] faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did. And the scripture was fulfilled that says, ‘Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness’ [Genesis 15:6], and he was called God’s friend” (James 2:22-23).

Abraham was obedient to YeHoVaH, and therefore earned that glorious title of being called “God’s friend.”

James continues in his letter and defines what it means to be an enemy of God, saying, “You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God” (James 4:4).

In other words, those who are obedient to the ways of his world are called the friends of this world (and therefore are also a friend of Satan, he who is the “god of this world” [2 Corinthians 4:4]). You cannot be a friend of the world and a friend of God at the same time. It’s simply not possible. As Jesus taught: “…you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other” (Matthew 6:24).

To be a friend of this world is to be an enemy of God and of Jesus Christ. Therefore, to be a friend of the world is also to be an enemy to those who obediently love and follow Christ. And we have been commanded numerous times to not associate with such people.

“Warn a divisive person once, and then warn them a second time. After that, have nothing to do with them. You may be sure that such people are warped and sinful; they are self-condemned” (Titus 3:10-11).

“Do not let anyone fool you by telling you things that are not true, because these things will bring God’s anger on those who do not obey Him. So have nothing to do with them” (Ephesians 5:6-7).

“But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or slanderer, a drunkard or swindler. Do not even eat with such people” (1 Corinthians 5:11).

“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols?” (2 Corinthians 6:14-16).

We’ve been commanded to choose our friends wisely and to not be friends with the world and those of it. And why is that? Because, like with the ancient Israelites who mingled with the pagan nations around them, if we choose to associate with evil, it won’t be long before we become corrupted just as they are.

“Do not be misled: BAD COMPANY CORRUPTS GOOD MORALS” (1 Corinthians 15:33).

“Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm” (Proverbs 13:20).

Another example from the Holy Bible defining who the friends and family of Jesus are is found in the Gospel of Matthew. It reads: “Someone told [Jesus], ‘Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you.’ He replied, ‘Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?’ Pointing to his disciples, he said, ‘Here are my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother’” (Matthew 12:47-50).

Those are the people who are the friends of Jesus Christ. Those are the people he chooses to associate with: Those who do the will of YeHoVaH God the Eternal Father. Those who are obedient to the commandments of God.

“But how are we supposed to minister to the lost if we don’t associate with them?” was the question so many people asked on my friend’s Facebook post.

The answer:

Through ministry service.
Through teaching and preaching the truth.
Through calling them to repentance.

Not through befriending them.
Not through associating with them.

And if you are inspired by the Spirit of God to create a public social media page with the express purpose of reaching out to the lost with the truth of God’s Word, then by all means do so. And God bless you for your righteous endeavors.

But one’s friends — even if they’re only those shallow “friends” found on social media — should be one’s actual friends. They should only be those people you (and God) would want to associate with. They should only be those you and God are in agreement with.

We cannot be friends with those of the world.
We cannot be found among the enemies of God.

May we choose our friends wisely and love them sincerely. Shalom.