“The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit” (Proverbs 18:21).

I was born in 1984. During my elementary school years in the late 80s and early 90s, I remember being bullied on the schoolyard playground during recess. Sometimes it was one kid doing the bullying. Sometimes it was a group of kids. They were always older and bigger.

I remember the name-calling, the pranks being played, the fingers being pointed, and the cruel laughter at my expense.

It was during those first years of schooling that my father sat me down one day and taught me a rhyme — one that I’m certain your parents also taught you when you were young. You know it by heart, so say it with me:

“STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES, BUT WORDS WILL NEVER HURT ME.”

This familiar children’s rhyme first appeared in a British publication in 1857. Since then it has gone through many subtle variations; perhaps the version you were taught as a child was worded slightly differently. But no matter how it’s been worded over the past several generations, the ethical teaching of this rhyme has always remained the same: While physical objects like “sticks and stones” can certainly be used to “break [our] bones,” words in and of themselves will never actually bring physical harm.

This rhyme has been used by innumerable parents to encourage their children to not be hurt by hurtful words, to avoid physical retaliation, and to remain calm and indifferent when faced with verbal bullying.

But here’s the question we should all be asking ourselves: Is it true? Does this rhyme actually teach our children a moral truth?

Certainly not if you were to ask Yeshua ben Eleazar ben Sirach (Ben Sira), a Jewish scribe of the Second Temple Period and author of the Book of Sirach (also known as “Ecclesiasticus”), an apocryphal book of wisdom written approximately between 196 and 175 BC. He held a very different view. In Sirach 28:17, Ben Sira writes what seems to be a diametrically opposite sentiment:

“The blow of a whip raises a welt, but a blow of the tongue crushes the bones.”

While it could obviously be argued that Ben Sira was only using poetic language to describe the pain that hurtful words can cause — pain that can emotionally feel like something that “crushes the bones” — it’s by reading the very next verse that we see he had something more literal in mind:

“Many have fallen by the edge of the sword, but many more have fallen because of the tongue” (Sirach 28:18).

By reading both verses together, it’s now impossible to misinterpret Ben Sira’s intent. He first uses the illustration of literal death by the sword, then expresses that “many more” have fallen (have been killed) by the power of the tongue. Ben Sira understood the very real and very physical danger that the wrong words can bring. He understood that dire consequences can arise when we speak foolish words, when we gossip, when we slander, and when we lie.

James, the brother of Jesus Christ, understood this as well. It’s even plausible that James had been thinking of Ben Sira’s words when he wrote the following:

“Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless. …the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. … It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.” (James 1:26; 3:5-8).

Perhaps it’s time we rethink that seemingly innocent childhood rhyme. Perhaps the phrase “words will never hurt me” is a lie.

The reality is, words do hurt and in very literal and potentially even violent ways. Not that the words in and of themselves are an act of violence, but the words can be used to promote and inspire violence. When we engage in adversarial rhetoric that increases the temperature of the political, cultural, and societal climate; when politicians and celebrities point the finger of scorn at their rivals and engage in verbal bashing and reputation savaging; when media talking-heads speak absolute lies about a person’s character, desires, agenda, and goals — deadly consequences can and do happen.

Lying words spoken continuously to the wrong person can motivate them to grab a rifle, take careful aim, and fire!

And lives can be lost.
Families destroyed.
Nations ended.

Our Lord Jesus taught, “everyone who is angry with his brother without cause will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire” (Matthew 5:22). He taught the truth that hatred and murder begin in the heart. It begins with hate-filled thoughts, which are then vocalized into incendiary words, and those burning words can ultimately lead to complete disaster.

Words can lead to anger…
then to hatred…
then to violence…
then to murder…
then to war…
and war can lead to the end of us all.

One tiny spark, and the entire forest can burn down.
One false word, and the world may never be the same.

As the New Living Translation (NLT) of the Holy Bible puts it, “Telling lies about others is as harmful as hitting them with an ax, wounding them with a sword, or shooting them with a sharp arrow” (Proverbs 25:18).

We can say metaphorically at first, but LITERALLY can all too quickly come next.

As followers of our Lord Jesus Christ, we need to understand that “sticks and stones” aren’t the only things that can “break our bones.” Words can also break bones and can do far worse. Our words have consequences, either for good or for evil. Depending on our choice of words, we as individuals, as families, as cities, states, and nations are led to one of two destinations: Life or death.

As King Solomon said: “The tongue has the power of life and death…” (Proverbs 18:21).

This is because the tongue can be used to build up or tear down, to create or destroy, to inspire or discourage, to motivate or crush, to praise or curse, to speak truth or tell lies, to exalt goodness or celebrate evil, to promote peace or invite conflict. The tongue can be used to serve the Eternal God of truth, or it can be used to serve Satan, he who is “the father of lies” (John 8:44).

It can accurately be said that not just mortal life and death are in the power of the tongue, but ETERNAL LIFE and ETERNAL DEATH are in the power of the tongue, for both us and for those we influence. It all comes down to how we choose to use that powerful tool God has given us. Will we be found speaking the truthful words of YeHoVaH that lead to everlasting life and joy? Or will we be found speaking the lying words of Satan that lead to never-ending death and misery?

Jesus said, “For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned” (Matthew 12:37).

We were all taught as children that “STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES, BUT WORDS WILL NEVER HURT ME.”

But that is a lie.
Words do hurt — very, very much so.

Words, like fire, need to be used responsibly and with extreme caution. Our choice of words can either ignite the beautiful fire that brings warmth and light and comfort to a downtrodden spirit, or our words can strike the deadly match that burns marriages, families, cultures, and nations to the ground.

Indeed, Ben Sira’s wise words ring true: “…a blow of the tongue crushes the bones. Many have fallen by the edge of the sword, but MANY MORE have fallen because of the tongue” (Sirach 28:17-18).

We must all take care with the words we choose to let fly out of our mouths, the tremendous power we wield either for good or for evil. In a very real sense, the future of our world depends on how we choose to use our tongues today. May we all “Keep [our] tongue from speaking evil and [our] lips from telling lies” (Psalm 34:13).

“Deliver my soul, O YeHoVaH, from lying lips, from a deceitful tongue” (Psalm 120:2).

By the grace of God Almighty, may our tongues always be rightly used as tools of TRUTH and LIFE, and may our good and loving words endure forever. As wise King Solomon put it: “The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue lasts only a moment” (Proverbs 12:18-19).

The Eternal Father of truth and love be with you all. Amen.