Biblical Keys To A Happy Marriage

Many of the problems we face in our marriages are ultimately rooted in an unrealistic expectation of what marriage is supposed to look like.

Movies and TV shows have given us a distorted perspective that marriage will provide ultimate fulfillment. And so we demand things from our marriage that it was never designed to give. God doesn’t promise that we’ll never face difficulties in marriage. However, with a right perspective on marriage and using the tools He gives us in His Word, we can know how to handle conflict. Here are three biblical keys that can help you stay on track to a happy marriage:

Number one… Respect.

Respecting your spouse means that you value them and hold them in high esteem. Value their feelings and opinions just as you value your own. Don’t disregard what your spouse shares with you. Don’t get frustrated or angry if you don’t like what they say. Just be patient and listen.  Remember, your marriage is a picture of the Messiah’s relationship with the Church. Respecting your spouse is ultimately connected to respecting God.

Key number two… Support

Being happy in marriage requires you to take the focus off of yourself. When you are selfless and focused on fulfilling your spouse’s needs instead of striving to get what you want, you’ll often find that your spouse is more than willing to reciprocate.
“Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered.” – Proverbs 11:25
Support takes many forms. The simplest and often most needed form of support is encouragement and verbal affirmation. This goes back to Respect. If you value your spouse, you’ll value their hopes, dreams, trust, and sense of security. You’ll put their needs before your own.

Key number three… Listen

Most of the problems we face in marriage happen because we don’t know how to communicate effectively. Instead of listening to our spouse and validating their feelings, we get busy formulating counter arguments and building our case against them. We listen to reply rather than listening to learn. But this response puts them on the defensive and makes it more difficult to resolve the problems.
“A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.” – Proverbs 18:2
Spouses can get so distracted with “winning” the argument that they lose sight of the goal, which is to resolve the conflict! Marriage cannot flourish in a self-centered environment. It can’t flourish without mutual respect and support. It all boils down to this: Love your spouse more than yourself. Respect them, support them, and listen to them. And then watch as new life is breathed into your marriage!

Stick to the Plan

After moving to Fort Mill, South Carolina from Missouri, I sat in our apartment one day and wondered, Why am I here? Do I understand God’s plan for me and what I am to do? Did I hear right from God?

From my experience, questions like these tend to follow a huge life change, like switching career paths or moving across the country. As I pondered these questions, I replayed the different adventures the Father has sent me on during my life.

I remembered the crossroads that I faced—the places where I wasn’t really sure which way to go—and the times I questioned God.

Maybe you’re in that place right now. You felt you heard from the Father that you are walking in obedience, and then all of a sudden things just don’t feel or seem right.

I have stepped out in faith many times in my life, even when it made no sense at all to anyone else. If you find yourself facing a decision that will drastically change your life, and you feel the Father is calling you to that decision, know that His plan is for your good. Jeremiah 29:11 says…

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Each time in my life that I have gone against the wisdom of man and followed God in faith, He has prospered me. But I’ve also faced hardship during times of being obedient. At times, I can honestly say that I thought calamity was what He was giving me.

However, the calamity was only temporary. It brought about a stronger faith, a stronger dependency on Him. And as soon as the hardship passed, I had prospered.

I think it would be safe to say that most of us have prayed at some point, Father, make me more like You. Give me Your heart. Change me. So when you step out in obedience, do not be disappointed if He answers the very thing you have been asking for.

There will always be an adversary that will try to rob what God is doing in your life. And the plan to prosper you may look a little different than you thought. But stick to the plan and enjoy the journey!

Your Storm Will Pass

I love to be outside in YeHoVaH’s beautiful creation. Not too long ago, I spent some time in the woods.

I was a good distance from the truck, but I didn’t realize it until the sky started to darken and I heard thunder. A storm was coming. But it was too late. I knew there was no way I’d make it back to my vehicle.”

I hunkered down in a place I felt was the safest and waited for the storm to pass. I prayed, “YeHoVaH, please watch over me and protect me.” The lightning cracked and the wind blew.

I thought a couple of times that it may be a tornado.

After a while the storm began to pass, each crack of thunder quieter than the last one. The rain had stopped, but water still dripped heavily from off of the leaves. I was soaking wet and started to feel a little cold. The sound of dripping slowed and the sound of the birds soon took front stage.

It was amazing how fast the storm came and went, even though it seemed to last forever when I was stuck in it.

When I got back to my truck, Luke 6:48-50 came to mind. Remember when Yeshua was walking on the water and was about to pass by the disciples in the boat? They thought they had seen a ghost. He told them, “Take courage! It is I. Do not be afraid.”

And when He climbed in the boat, the storm subsided.

As I thought about that scripture, it dawned on me that He was about to pass them by. In other words, if they had not called out to Him, I believe He would have kept going. Also, He was far enough away from the boat that they did not recognize Him.

What a great example of storms in the believer’s life. In the midst of the storm (trials and tribulations), we cry out to YeHoVaH. When it takes a while for the storm to pass, the complaint some believers have is, “YeHoVaH is not hearing me.” I’ve been there myself. But let’s remember the scripture. When they called out, He answered with words of encouragement.

In other words, He said, “You’re going to be okay.” Hang in there.

Keep your eyes on Him during life’s storms, and know that whatever storms we have in our lives will pass. So the next time you cry out, know that He hears you. Keep your eyes on Him and, at His appointed time, He will enter your boat and calm your storm.