Submit Your Testimony
I was being blamed for multiple issues.
With Jaidyn in state care and Matt in treatment center, I couldn't stay sober. I constantly relied on all the wrong things to ease the pain and guilt felt from making bad choices. My dependence on alcohol, drugs, and sex failed to comfort me during difficult times. Gradually, my reliance on substances and other people to solve my problems to easing the pain from losing family failed to provide peace within my soul. My problems piled up, higher and higher. They grew from a flat valley into a hill and eventually into mountain. Alcohol and drugs couldn’t provide sufficient courage to overcome the mountain of issues I accumulated.
For years I believed in a God of my understanding, however, I didn't think He wanted anything to do with me. I thought, “He is too busy with others that obeyed His rules, and my actions in life was
unforgivable. My choices lacked any moralistic values. The guilt and shame grew everyday. I started using alcohol at age 4 and now at age 42, I had accumulated a tremendous amount of problems, grief, and resentments that no amount of alcohol, or drugs, could ease the self sabotaging pain I was faced with every day. Regardless, I believed in Jesus Christ. And from time to time I’d pray or listen to spiritual inspired testimonies which claimed to tap into the life of God.
After listening to Derek Prince preaching about casting out demons from a woman, I thought maybe I have demons attached to my body. Perhaps my dilemma was similar to this lady with so many demons.
So, I laid on my bed and began to cry. Overwhelmed with remorse, guilt, and fear, I desperately pleaded and begged
God, “Please, God, I’m tired of living this way of life! The drug ruined my life! I am sick of making horrible decisions, and its my fault my family can't return. Please help me. Please God help me!” As I laid in my bed I began repeatedly saying, “In the name of Jesus Christ, I command you demons to leave my body. In the
name of Jesus Christ, leave my body!” I opened my eyes while repeat this and saw a wave move down
through my legs as the demons exited my body. I closed my eyes and continued to tell them to
leave. I fell asleep from emotional exhaustion.
I had a dream. In the dream, 2 men and myself worked with machines on remodeling the inside of a
house. The house had a staircase leading to an upper level of the house. On the wall of the stairway was
a mirror. Through the mirror, out the window, I saw a violent lightening storm approaching.
Struck by fear, I said to the others, “There is a storm approaching and we need to put the machines
down. We might get hit by lightening.” To my disappointment, the two men failed to heed to my warning. They continued to climb the stairs and work on restoring the structure.
I looked around the house for a place to hide and I realized there was no safe place. Lightening can strike anywhere.
So, I sat on a step and said, “God please protect me, there is no where that I can be safe from lightening!”
As if a tunnel from The Heavenly realm opened up, and I heard a voice like non I’ve heard before. This voice engulfed my entire being. I couldn't move. I felt frozen in time and completely humbled.
The voice of The Almighty God spoke to me, saying, “I have found you worthy. Jen, I anoint you.” I was most humbled. And all
I could say is, “You are Holy! You are Holy! Thank you, thank you.”
I woke up. The desire to do drugs and drink alcohol, gone. I didn't even want cigarettes. My
whole attitude about life changed.
By the Grace of God, I just celebrated 18 months of sobriety. I wake up every morning and I seek Him.
My prayer request is for all that suffer from alcoholism, drug addiction, and the children that have no say so in the matter, for God's will in their lives and all the glory be givin to our Father.