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I had an MRI this week and they highly suspect the lump in my left breast is malignant. I have to have other tests this month. To make a long story short, I have had a lifetime of stress since early childhood, mostly from family that were of their father the devil, unrepentant evil doers.
Because my father was a sociopath, it has affected my trust in Yah and I can never seem to get to the place where I can fully trust---at least that is what I think is my problem.
I have begged Yah at times to take me because of the constant emotional pain of dealing with evil people. I have been Torah Observant for several years, but it doesn't help with dealing with stress.
My husband and son are disabled and they need me and I have asked Yah to reject my prayers of "relief" because no matter how much pain I am in, I want to be here for them, they need me and I do not want to be selfish.
We do not belong to any fellowship since coming out of Churchianity and now that my mom and her husband have proven to be not right with God, we don't really have anyone we can pray with that we can say is right with God that would increase our chances of getting prayer answered in our favor.
Thank you and may Yah bless you and keep you!