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SHA-Aloha everyone. I had to cry this out before I text, but please continue to keep my husband Joshua in prayer for deliverance and repentance. Asking the Holy Spirit to pour intense conviction.

He packed his bag and without telling me, he is leaving on a trip, tomorrow. Also, Someone texts him every night & really late- he even walks down the street to talk to this person in his parked truck for 30 minutes + at times.

His ex girlfriend (on and off of 20 years) who just got her trust fund money and bought a house lives on another island. So, only God knows if someone is going with him on vacation together or if he’s meeting hurt. Either way, yep- this broke my heart more. Could life be any worse?How can we rejoice in such painful times?

I been standing faithful, I will not stop, but this is definitely not easy.

Father, what more do you want me to go through? Is it cause you know I am so mad at the enemy for choosing to destroy what I had (even out of my own hurt praying for how he treated me) and had so much regret - it’s all or nothing.

Interesting I can fight in the ring, I can compete MMA during training, but the spiritual warfare has been intense. I can handle the physical pain and take jabs- but when it’s hurting my heart, I am in anguish.

I have never ever experienced this level of hurt, neglect, abandonment, fear, broken heart (being in my 40s) and it is not easy.

I am being raw and real. Yeshua knew marriage is not for the weak. I was a believer- became prodigal- now standing to death do me part for the reconciliation & restoration of my marriage. Yehovah has the final say.

Now I can fully understand how and why David prayed and continuously encouraged himself. He didn’t have apps or a cell phone to research prayers. He was alone, and had enemies after him. Thank you Holy Spirit for working through David to inspire writing the psalms.

Father God you are Yehovah El Roi- the God who sees. Praying Abba, as Joshua goes on this trip, I don’t know with who or the purpose- and bind every thought captive to make me think the worse or entertain negative thoughts- I command these thoughts to obey Messiah now in Yeshua’s name.

Father, convict Joshua intensely. Reveal to him that Adultery is a sin and he is not on a good path leading him up hell. Rescue him from darkness abba in Yeshua’s name.

Cut/severe/break/destroy all ungodly relationships and soul ties in Joshuas life now in Yeshua’s name.

I have power & Authority to speak to as the key & Joshua’s covenant wife no weapon formed against this marriage shall prosper and any alliance forming against me WILL FALL in Yeshua’s name.

Father please give me strength during this super hard difficult time.

I pray just like what you did to Hosea’s wife you do to Joshua, close all doors that will allow the enemy to sneak through.

Please pour in more memories of our marriage, dreams and visions as he is away. Father this hurts so bad. I love and miss him. Help me to remain peaceful and calm. Please come through father.

Thank you everyone. For your prayers in Yeshua’s name amen.

Received: May 10, 2022

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